Guilt Free Living with Andrea Woolf

Transcript from the episode:

So, one is, I’m sorry to say this up that women torture themselves. I mean, no one can be harder on us than ourselves. When I asked women would, who’s your best friend and they go like, they look, it’s like a pattern interrupt right What do you mean who’s my best, who’s, do you have a best friend. Yes. What’s the name, tell me their first name. Okay, so when they’re like doing what you’re doing right now and they saw getting it right. Like being this today efa do that today of, like, like you know, should all over themselves and that should sh o ul they should all over themselves. You know, or just like be so critical and hard on themselves. And it sounds something like this will come back to the friend thing in a second. 

It sounds like I should be further along in my fill in the blank career or business by now. Like, what an interesting way of creating the thought that. Here’s what the fleet here’s what the flip side sounds like, okay, here’s my vision for this year, I take my business from by the end of the year. It’s now here, some like amazingly exciting place you’ve now got a new division you got team members you got like whatever it is that makes your tummy tingle you drag the life out of yourself you suck it right out by shooting all over yourself and you’re looking at it from the way you’re not what you haven’t done what the lack is what the gap is, what’s wrong with you, all the negative, and women do this to themselves, all the time. Are you one of those Do you do this you go about things. And this is by the way this is what’s keeping you right where you are. 

This is the dance that you create where the music stops, boom, and there is not a happy sound to be heard in the new universe. And it’s you in a dark cell in the corner. And I’m exaggerating to make you love I hope you’re giggling as you hear me talk like this lonely with a candle and nobody loves you. So, so here’s the thing, like causing and creating is the opposite of judging of criticizing self, of being hard on yourself of beating yourself up for what you haven’t accomplished, where you haven’t gone What you haven’t done. What kind of leader you haven’t been, I mean, endlessly. I could go on for an hour or more on this negative list I’m going to stop right now, it’s time to what I call flip the coin. And have you noticed men would not dream of doing this to themselves. 

The only time where it’s common for men to be very hard on himself is when he’s not feeling successful in business, or, you know, it’s usually more short lived. We make like a major tragedy and drama out of it. So, so here’s the thing. The world is waiting for you. And the instant way for you to be ready for the world is waiting for you is to step into it. Dream it up, it’s all made up anyway ladies get comfortable with dreaming it up. Because when you’re focusing on wonderfulness on amazingness on what you’re contributing to, let’s say, a specific targeted group of people that will make it easier by the way to be successful with it. When you like coaching for example, could I wants made everybody on a very large group Call roll with laughter is when I was asked who was I targeting. I said anyone breathing. 

So just so you know I’ve learned a lot. Along the way, just like all of us are doing. Yo wherever you are. And then there’s wherever you want to go whoever you want to become. It is right here for you’re reaching for and grasping latest guilt free living. The only place, but guilt can be showered on you by an unhappy person who isn’t happy with themselves, and then you allow it. You let it in. So it’s not 100%. Well, the, the, taking it on is 100% you. Even if somebody’s unhappy around you. Let’s say I’m so sorry if you had a critical parent, especially mother like the same sex parent, because that’s the one who has the most influence on most of us. 

So my mother, and she’s still with us at 92. And feisty and kicking. Okay, was 100% perfectionist. So, that’s wonderful in a way because everything was done in excellence, not just by her but by each of us and especially me, but I really took it on. I am a mini her, in some ways, in many ways, and so I really have to watch this because it can be a very hard way to live, being a perfectionist so I call myself a recovering perfectionist, meaning something I need to stay aware of but you never fully get over, right, never fully get over. So, I used to feel guilty if I didn’t sit down in one sitting and I do hope I make you laugh here and write the whole book, like perfectly. The publishable perfect final edit of a manuscript in one sitting, full book. Can you hear how that’s Mission Impossible. Right. 

And then I feel guilty because I couldn’t and I hadn’t and craziness right now I’m happy to say, I have vastly got over this insanity self created insanity unnecessary pressure. Right. It’s any act of creation, it’s both thing it takes its time it’s, it becomes right it comes to life and forcing doesn’t help anything. And then on layering on top of the forcing feeling guilty about it. Ladies, I hope I’m making you roll with love to hear it is woman made, and any guilt that you’re experiencing your life. I’m here to declare to you and the universe. You are the woman, generating it and allowing it and or allowing it. So here’s how to handle critics. 

Okay, here’s how to again they’re all around us. And they usually want exactly what you’re up to. And you’re a demonstration of what they’re not doing or haven’t done. And so you’ll hear stuff like, and let’s say they’re naysayers or doubters parents can be that right when you’re up to stuff in your life. And they would rather you become a proctologist or something and you are a creative genius. So, they may say something less than illuminating like that will never work. Now, this thing it let’s imagine, because imagining is very powerful out of love, because they love you. However, it’s less than inspiring for you. So before you take a deep dive into going along with this the story and the thought all there is to do is say thank you for sharing. Here’s what will happen. They will look confused for a moment, because their brain signups is don’t know what to do with that. 

You’re being loving and grateful, meaning it. In other words, meaning really thank you so much for sharing. And then they will not know what to say next. Well, maybe you didn’t hear me, that’ll never work they may say it loud to you. And you said thank you and I heard you It’s great. And, you know, you’re entitled to that thought, and I really appreciate it, and thanks for sharing. They will have nowhere to go. In other words, stand tall, no matter how tall you are. I’m five foot to stand tall. In, thank you for sharing with no sarcasm no anger, no reaction to the lesson inspiring sharing just simply thank them. It’s one of the most powerful things to cause pattern interrupt. Because what you’re up to is your dream, not necessarily this, you get this to own your dream, just own it, without going negative on anyone who doesn’t share it. It’s okay. There’s room on the planet for each one of us to be living our dreams. 

Because we will attract the perfect people who will be part of that dream team members, people coming to your programs like all of it. Just believe in yourself. Stand tall in your dream. I’m five foot three and on five foot three at least in all my dreams. Do you get it, like, keep saying a place of love and humor, and understanding and compassion, no matter what’s going on around you. They will fall away if they are meant to fall away from your life. However, we tend not to excommunicate people like the person we love, and the parents, for example, you know, children. So, You want to teach children by the way to be this annoyingly positive. It’s a good idea. It’s really a good idea. Imagine more and more up and coming kid Let’s step into becoming very very positive loving children. Imagine the planet then just imagine that planet. It’s this is powerful stuff to let go of that habit of guilt and negativity and step into your drink.